Vomit my guts out.

long time no post

i start a new job wednesday, my first that actually pays decently, i hope i am awesome at it.

lex & i mightmightmight go to chicago on monday to see king khan cause our friend's band is opening & we could get on th guestlist.

here is my wishlist, thanks to my new job i will probably get a few of these for myself (iphone, bike, cute shoes & dresses, etc.)

sister jane studded skater dress

evil twin moon sweater

evil twin cosmos velvet skater dress

agyness deyn x doc martens lilac heart satchel

prettysnake lilac cloud sweater mini skirt

vintage capes in wool & velvet

vintage gunne sax dress (preferably one in blue/pink/lilac & one in black colourway)

every pair of black ankle boots on my etsy wishlist (which i keep private cause i'm selfish & don't want anyone to ~steal my items~!)

every 60s dress on my etsy wishlist

sparkly/glittery/velvet/clear platforms

anything & everything by ahcahcum muchacha (especially cat/rabbit collection & creepy dollface purse)

1920s bridal crown

antique fur muff w/ cat or doll face

lazy oaf mickey hands skirt

asos amazing flower platforms

vintage persian lamb & mink peacoat (i was actually going to get this one but it sold ;___;)

various tights & socks & necessary things

vagabond suede monk strap flatforms (i need more office-appropriate footwear that i can also bike in)

a vintage italian or japanese road or mixte bike (xs frame size pls, between 43-49cm) or, failing that, a rivendell betty foy mixte (my dream bike but worth more than my car)

black wedge ankle boots to replace my completely dead ones i've had for 4 yrs

about a dozen things from golden ponies

iphone 4s in white & cute cases

kier-la janisse's "house of psychotic women"

how are you & what do you want for holiday gifts?
Vomit my guts out.

drunk updating!

i've thought fleetingly about deleting my lj, but i still like to read frenz posts so i won't yet. my life has changed so so much lately & i'm tipsy alone w/ coffee & bailey's & reading anna kavan but i thought i might post one of these just to incoherently update anyone who might still read.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
broke up w/ someone, had a threesome (not as fun as hoped & not related to th break-up).

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i never really make any. in 2012 i just want to get a job & travel w/ lex.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
i don't know, i don't know about no babies.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
no, thankfully. ken russell?

5. What countries did you visit?
no place. i went to nyc twice though.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
more confidence in myself, a job that isn't awful.

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
in th early morning hours of 8 sept 2011, when lex & i first kissed & etc.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
writing songs & recording them w/ lex, ending an 8 yr relationship (long time coming, looking back...)

9. What was your biggest failure?
still jobless.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
actually no for once!

11. What was the best thing you bought?
vintage scorpion-print mini dress.

14. Where did most of your money go?
bills, moving, car repairs, stupid clothes.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
being head over heels in love for th first time (either in a long, long time or maybe even srsly th first time.)

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
sparks - 'love scenes'
deardarkhead - 'surf's up'
modern lovers - 'i wanna sleep in your arms'

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder - much much happier
Older or wiser - both
Thinner or fatter? - about th same
Richer or poorer? - way poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
ride bikes

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
spent it at my childhood home w/ th family, got way drunk at my cousin's xmas eve party, skyped w/ my love, then he came & picked me up on th 26th & met my family for th first time.

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?
yes ^__________^

24. What was your favorite TV program?
parks & rec, i think.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
not hate, but dislike a couple people who used to be close to me more than i ever thought i would.

26. What was the best book you read?
secret history by donna tartt

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
rediscovered how much i love jonathan richman.

28. What did you want and get?
th best boyfriend ever/tru luv/etc.

29. What did you want and not get?
a job.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
i've been terrible w/ film watching lately. i actually really enjoyed drive. i just downloaded melancholia, should i watch it alone?

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
turned 26, went to free dinner at a favourite sushi place w/ michael & marc, then flew to atlanta & spent th week w/ martin, which was a 'learning experience' but am quite regretful about overall.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
having an income, not living w/ michael & his family for months.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
more black but also more pastel colours. cult party kei inspiration. stupid prints as always.

34. What kept you sane?
lex, tumblr

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
michael shannon

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
blergh do not want to think about that right now.

37. Who did you miss?
lex, who works out of town sometimes for days on end (flight attendant.) missing him right now, will have a lonely new years ;___;

38. Who was the best new person you met?
new frenz include elijah, kelly, hannah & ben, etc.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
finally allowed myself to truly be open w/ someone i love.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
get me away from here i'm dying
Vomit my guts out.

a srs post. again.

so no one is really left on livejournal, which is why I feel comfortable posting this publicly. my life has been in shambles for a while now, & it's getting to a breaking point.

I still have no job. my car won't start. still living at Michael's parents' haus, which is awful. no prospects & v. few friends. all this is bad enough, right?

well, on top of everything else, after over eight years together, Michael & I have decided to call it quits. it's my fault/decision, & I am unsure if it's th right one, but it's done. everything has culminated into a festering stagnation & I have been quite unhappy for some time. I need to gain some semblance of independence, because I feel like I never have had any...ever. & having (mutual) feelings for someone else is th catalyst which forced me to realize this. it's still confusing, but I can't make it go away. he lives in Atlanta, about a four-hour drive away, & we are planning a visit around my birthday. I need to get my car fixed, I need to get some cash. if I raise enough $$ I would rather fly than drive, but it's around $110 roundtrip, so I'm unsure if that would be a good idea. I have nothing to sell because everything I own is in storage. I have seriously considered becoming an egg donor, though it has its downsides & it wouldn't be a quick process. but th money is tempting, more & more.

my family can't really help me out too much, my father promised to 'try' to get something done about my car this week, my mum promised to get me a cellphone finally, but otherwise everything falls on me. Michael & I haven't told many people, & we certainly haven't told our families. I am going to continue living here as long as necessary, because I really have nowhere else to go. Michael is still my best friend, he's been incredibly understanding & supportive, though I know how much it must hurt. if I had any form of money saved up, I would probably pick up & leave as soon as I could, but that isn't an option at this stage. though I am still unsure what will happen, I am going to apply to Emory in Atlanta for graduate school; even if things don't work out, I need a new city desperately. & graduate school applications/gre fees/etc. cost a lot of money.

this is all coming down to a plea for donations. anything is better than nothing. blah.

Vomit my guts out.

hey look

I can update.

Still searching for work.

Getting v. depressed.

Want to move again, maybe, but can't at this stage.

Things which I can't really discuss, except with those v. few of you here that I have already discussed them with.


This has been an update.
  • Current Music
    Henry's Dress
Vomit my guts out.


I'm feeling terribly ill, mooning about in bed w/ innernette & haven't posted in a while. Now in Charlotte NC, hopefully visiting NYC in a few weeks, then job/haus hunting. Michael's sister's wedding is in mid-June & I need to find an appropriate black dress (ideally under $100.) Everything I have seems too winter-weight or casual. I like these:

cheapest but probably needs lots of accessories to be weird enough for me

really like this but unsure how it'd look on a shorty like me

cute but maybe toooo cute

this is awesome but no size 2 left

Any suggestions? I prefer mini length, weird/interesting details, & natural fibers. I also have no clue what shoes to wear. I might just buy some tall creepers:

Anyway, I'm hoping to finally get back into film blogging this weekend, as I received a mountain of films in th amazing kg freeleech week:

Arrebato (Ivan Zulueta, 1980)
Belladonna of Sadness (Eiichi Yamamoto, 1973)
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (Russ Meyer, 1970)*
Birds, Orphans & Fools (Juraj Jakubisko, 1969)
The Blind Owl (Raoul Ruiz, 1987)
Blissfully Yours (Apichatpong Weerasethakul, 2002)
Cat in the Brain (Lucio Fulci, 1990)
Ceremony (Nagisa Oshima, 1971)
Damaged Lives (Edgar G. Ulmer, 1933)
Day of the Locust (John Schlesinger, 1975)
Decoder (Muscha, 1984)
Delirium (Renato Polselli, 1972)
Der Todesking (Jörg Buttgereit, 1990)
Diabel (Andrzej Zulawski, 1972)
Diary of a Shinjuku Thief (Nagisa Oshima, 1968)
Door 3 (Kiyoshi Kurosawa, 1996)
Dunwich Horror (Daniel Haller, 1970)
Eden & After (Alain Robbe-Grillet, 1970)
End of August at the Hotel Ozone (Jan Schmidt, 1967)
La femme publique (Andrzej Zulawski, 1984)
Four Nights of a Dreamer (Robert Bresson, 1971)
Frightened Woman (Piero Schivazappa, 1969)
Grapes of Death (Jean Rollin, 1978)
The Idiots (Lars von Trier, 1998)
Judex (Georges Franju, 1963)
Un Lac (Philippe Grandieux, 2008)
Ladies of Leisure (Frank Capra, 1930)
L’amour braque (Andrzej Zulawski, 1985)
L’amour fou (Jacques Rivette, 1969)
Landscape Suicide (James Benning, 1987)
Left Bank (Pieter Van Hees, 2008)
Liquid Sky (Slava Tsukerman, 1982)
Little Mermaid (Karel Kachyna, 1976)
Lola (Jacques Demy, 1961)
Malpertuis (Harry Kümel, 1973)
Manji (Yasuzo Masumura, 1964)
Man Who Left his Will on Film (Nagisa Oshima, 1970)
Marie-poupée (Joel Seria, 1976)
Messiah of Evil (Willard Huyck, 1973)
Morgiana (Juraj Herz, 1972)*
Ms. 45 (Abel Ferrara, 1981)*
Multiple Maniacs (John Waters, 1970)
Naboer (Pål Sletaune, 2005)
Nekromantik (Jörg Buttgereit, 1987)*
Night of the Hunted (Jean Rollin, 1980)
Night Train Murders (Aldo Lado, 1975)
Nightmares in a Damaged Brain (Romano Scavolini, 1981)
Nuit Noire (Olivier Smolders, 2005)
Partner (Bernardo Bertolucci, 1968)
The Party & the Guests (Jan Nemec, 1966)
Peau d’Ane (Jacques Demy, 1970)*
Phantom Love (Nina Menkes, 2007)
La Prisonnière (Henri-Georges Clouzot, 1968)
Rock n Roll High School (Allan Arkush, 1979)*
Safe in Hell (William A. Wellman, 1931)
Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors (Sergei Parajanov, 1964)
She Had Her Gun All Ready (Vivienne Dick, 1978)*
The Shuttered Room (David Greene, 1967)
Smithereens (Susan Seidelman, 1982)
Something Different (Vera Chytilová, 1963)
Spell (Alberto Cavallone, 1977)
Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh (Sergio Martino, 1971)
Szamanka (Andrzej Zulawski, 1996)*
Third Part of the Night (Andrzej Zulawski, 1971)
This Transient Life (Akio Jissoji, 1970)
Throw Away Your Books, Rally in the Streets (Shuji Terayama, 1971)
Ucho (Karel Kachyna, 1970)
La vampire nue (Jean Rollin, 1970)
La Vie Nouvelle (Philippe Grandieux, 2002)
Visitor to a Museum (Konstantin Lopushansky, 1989)
When the Cat Comes (Vojtech Jasny, 1963)
Women in New York (Rainer Werner Fassbinder, 1977
Your Vice is a Locked Room & Only I Have the Key (Sergio Martino, 1972)
Zigeunerweisen (Seijun Suzuki, 1980)

Asterisked films are ones I've seen. Kind of overwhelmed, what should I watch first?
Vomit my guts out.

not a film log; sorry.

I just filed my taxes online, blarg, I hope I just get my money so I actually HAVE some money (w/ which I might blow about $200 of it on clothes, eep.) Also, I have not won a ticket to theoutnet anniversary $2 sale, am heartbroken; really wanted to get something ridiculously expensive & amazing, namely a leather jacket.

My mind hasn't really been able to digest film lately (but I have been reading too much instead.) I have a few films I want to write up soon, but I seem to have a mental block. Instead, I'm making my way (v. quickly, too) through MST3K chronologically (minus th KTMA ones) & am almost done w/ season one (in some cases watch 2-3 episodes a day). I have some poor-quality stills I might post to tumblr eventually. I've been obsessed w/ vhs-quality/bleedy/murky/washed-out aesthetics lately.

That segues awkwardly into my reason for this fluff post: inspired by batarde, a list of top five "celebrity" crushes. This list was hard to drum up, as I usually become enamoured by v. specific situations/scenarios or (to a lesser extent) characters. Also, in this case, nearly all of th following require time-travel for me to commence th boning.

Joel Hodgson, circa 1989 & up until he had that unfortunate chin-beard.
Definitely #1 currently, though it is a pretty recent development. Back in high school, I was a Mike girl & preferred his effortless charisma; I have since changed camps & now find Joel so much more endearing, particularly when he indulges in physicality & absurdism & when he flubs his lines/stammers. I made out w/ him in a quite vivid dream last week; yes, he was wearing th jumpsuit.

Buster Keaton, circa his creative heyday (1924-1928ish), or maybe even after he'd signed to MGM & was in his dark-days because everyone knows I love torment.
Following up th newest crush, th longest-running crush; I fell in love w/ Keaton when I was fourteen, watching tons of TCM instead of having friends. Of this lot, th most conventionally attractive & iconic; those eyes, those eyes!!

Zoë Tamerlis Lund, circa Ms. 45.
I'm really awful at famous lady crushes; I tend to fall for 'real' girls (either acquaintances or, embarrassingly enough, bloggers) instead. Ms. Lund has a perfect moon face, though, & wrote Bad Lieutenant, & was a political activist. Other women who might vie for this spot include Kate Bush, Meiko Kaji, Isabella Rossellini, & Louise Brooks.

Guy Maddin, circa that photograph!
Sometimes I divide crushes into two rough (& overlapping, obvs.) categories: sexytimes & intellectual, & Guy falls into th latter w/ dalliances in th former (had a dream a few months ago wherein we banged in a small boat on a frozen sea). Oddly, one of th most intense of all crushes, though; if/when I ever chance to meet him, I might cry or faint. Because sometimes it feels like he's inside my brain.

Al Columbia, circa whenever, I'd even bang him as foetuses in th womb; I'd bang him as pure energy/thought-consciousness long after everyone is obliterated.
A constant #1. Comes closest to my 'ideal' in appearance, manner, & sufficient creepiness; as w/ GM, a deep level of resonance/synchronicity that is hard to verbalize, so I won't try anymore.

I tried to come up w/ ten, but everything seemed to fall short. Honourable mentions go to Ollie Reed, Pierre Clementi, & Graeme Downes (of th Verlaines).
Vomit my guts out.

quick update

I started a separate film blogue which I hope to update this weekend:

Are there any film-related blogs I should start reading?

I also joined twitter, thought I never would:

So you know, add me or rec good people to follow. It's a supplement for this lonely life.

Expect a film log on Monday, though it will be super-short.
Vomit my guts out.

film log 9; 14 Feb. - 6 Mar.

Various things came up to prevent me from working on my film log last week, including going out of town & feeling really awful. So I watched v. few films in th last three or so weeks, but have been reading lots more lately (finished Cortazar's Hopscotch, started Kafka on th Shore because I'm in th mood for talking cats). I've also decided to start jotting down small bits as I'm watching films so I can say things of worth, I have th world's worst memory. I've also thought about creating a separate film blog, but have yet to take th plunge. Any suggestions?

Pieces (Juan Piquer Simón, 1983) - rewatch, 3.0
Watched on youtube. I had a hankering to revisit some old (highschool-era) favourites, & I'm trying to go through all th old horror films I love(d) to see if any still fit my film sensibilities. A v. by-th-numbers slasher, albeit with some odd choices (th big guy w/ th chainsaw also played BLUTO in Altman's Popeye! Th main college dude was th goof in Pod People!) Th opening sequence, in which a young boy puts together a pinup jigsaw puzzle & proceeds to brutally murder his shrill mother w/ an axe, stands as a v. oddball touch which can't really be followed up, save for th out-of-nowhere zombie crotch-grab/ball-rip-off freeze-frame ending. Something that stuck w/ me this time: lots of shots of loafers walking down hallways. Also, I'd completely forgotten th Bruce Lee guy, which I found pretty tasteless.
Favourite moment: After finding a corpse, th lady-cop screams "BASTARD! BASTARD! BASTARD!" in th best way possible.

Showgirls (Paul Verhoeven, 1995) - rewatch, 5.0
Okay, so, I hadn't seen Showgirls since high-school, & I'm fairly confident I'd only seen th weird tv-edit that vh1 shows occasionally. I watched this on Netflix Instant on Valentine's Day, alone, & it was a near-ideal viewing experience for me, somehow; I know lots of people prefer to watch Verhoeven in a group-environment, but I tried to get friends to watch it later that week & it was th wrong group, I guess, cause I just got mad at them for 'ruining it'. I do not read this film as camp or "so bad it's good", because I think that stance discredits Verhoeven's satirical skill. Everything gels together in this ugly, absurd sleaziness, & somehow it ends up being life-affirming. Th fact that Elizabeth Berkley spends most of th film sans clothes but conveys Nomi Malone as a Real Character, even a Strong Female Lead, someone deserving respect, is enough for me to label Showgirls a work of genius. I wish I had more coherent thoughts regarding it, I might write a longer piece if I decide to start a film blog (as part of my top 100/top 100 moments, maybe?)
Favourite moment: Nomi kicks th shit out of Andrew Carver, w/ those weird red 'pepperoni' nipples.

Last Days of Disco (Whit Stillman, 1998) - 4.5
I know it's kind of odd, but I've yet to see th other two Stillman films. Usually I'm not huge on witty, dialogue-heavy films, but th elements came together here in a great way. Th use of that song from Eyes of Laura Mars made me squeal aloud. Chloe Sevz was charming, vulnerable, realistic, etc. But ultimately I think th reason I fell for this film so hard was Matt Keeslar's performance as Josh, th weird manic-depressive assistant-DA who ends up (huzzah) w/ Chloe's Alice. Every moment he's on screen is brilliant, & it kind of saddened me to look him up on imdb to little end (he was also in Waiting for Guffman.) So yes, though it doesn't really fit my usual criteria of film-love, it wound up being a favourite of th week.
Favourite moment: Josh's discussion of Lady & th Tramp, th tortoise & th hare, his hymn he sings, & of course "book this clown."

Adelheid (Frantisek Vlácil, 1970) - 4.5
Watched via youtube, as th Netflix dvd seems to be tragically unavailable now. I've been meaning to watch more & more Czech films, & Vlácil's name is near th top; I downloaded Marketa Lazarova months ago but haven't gotten to watch it yet. A bleak, post-WWII pseudo-love story, w/ an unnerving dread underlying every shot, every look. Th dark, washed-out colour palette of wintry countryside fits my preferred aesthetic, which I've been placing first in film-love importance lately. Petr Cepek, who I recognised from newfound favouritefavourite Morgiana, is darkly brooding/handsome & walks a fine line between creepy & hot, just perfect. Th only thing I felt lacking was th performance of th titular Adelheid, who seemed absent/removed from everything she did (though this could have been intentional, it didn't really jive w/ me.) Beautiful film, depressing as hell.
Favourite moment: How Petr Cepek gets Adelheid into bed w/ him.

(image via my lady throwherinthewater)
The Devils (Ken Russell, 1971) - rewatch, 4.5
Another h.s. revisit! I've been in love w/ old Oliver Reed since I was about fifteen, truth be told. Held up for th most part, though I hate that th downloaded copy I found wasn't super-nice quality & didn't include th femur-masturbation. WHEN is this going to receive th release it deserves?? Anyway, though everyone always talks about th wacky Rape of Christ orgy scene, I found that sequence to be th weakest in th film (especially th zoom-in/zoom-out bits) because of how knowingly OTT it is; I guess ol' Ken's zaniness just gets in his own way sometimes. My man Ollie is somehow th calming force in th film, & an all-round badass (that moustache!) Vanessa Redgrave is FRIGHTENING as hunchbacked Jeanne, so perfect. Another film I wish I had more coherent thoughts about, blahblah, will write more about it someday.
Favourite moment: Vanessa Redgrave's sex dream in which Ollie Reed is Jesus & they roll around on th ground together while she unwittingly stabs her palms w/ her rosary cross.

Ladies & Gentlemen, th Fabulous Stains (Lou Adler, 1982) - 3.5
Watched via Netflix Instant, been meaning to see for ages. Obviously has loads of style, Diane Lane being a total badass, & ultimately an underlying feminist message. But, th plodding, rote direction & narrative style drags down its potential. Also, would benefit from more Laura Dern. Does not come close to touching on th fabulousness of Streets of Fire.
Favourite moment: Th first time they take th stage & bomb real hard, & Diane Lane does th big fuck-you line, "nobody in this shithole gets me cause I don't put out."

Castle of Purity (Arturo Ripstein, 1973) - 5.0
Undoubtedly th top pick of this viewing-week. Ripstein has always been a figure I've been meaning to watch more by, having loved Realm of Fortune back when I was first becoming a cinephile, but somehow haven't gotten round to seeing anything else till now. Th plot is similar to that of Dogtooth, which I've been putting off seeing (it came through during Cucalorus back in Nov 2009, & I wished I'd seen it then, before it got so much hype!) I meant to watch Dogtooth immediately following Castle of Purity, but due to sickness/laziness/etc. neglected doing so. There's a phantasmagoric creepiness pervading th tone of th film, which obvs. is my jam, alongside th 70s washed-out colour palette & gloomy setting. Th young girl who plays Utopia is hauntingly beautiful, & reminds me a tad of a grown-up Ana Torrent. Really flawless film.
Favourite moment: how it's constantly raining in th family's courtyard.

Also watched MST3K's Girl in th Gold Boots, which was quite hilarious.
Vomit my guts out.

film log 8; 1 Feb - 13 Feb.

I've fallen a tad behind, only twelve films. Thanks to glazomaniac & chocolatebark, I'm compiling a third movie moments list; my first two are here & here. It's been nearly five years since that second one! I've seen so many more films, & my outlook toward film has changed a bit, as well. (Thanks, film school.) I won't repeat films used previously in th upcoming list, & I'm going to try to keep it restricted to narrative films at least 30 minutes long. I might try to do film moments lists regularly after this one, every 200 or so films watched. I don't know. Any thoughts?

The Face of Another (Hiroshi Teshigahara, 1966) - 3.5
Built up in my head (I remember downloading it back in 2004 & being crushed it didn't have subs, never watching it, now it's on Criterion!), kind of cold/clinical & disappointing when finally watched (though obvs. still quite great). A disfigured man dons a lifelike mask to rejoin society, with obvs. drawbacks. Tatsuya Nakadai puts forth a creepy performance, even when swaddled in bandages. Th doctor as Nakadai's foil didn't really interest me, & th less realistic ending (which I don't want to spoil) came off as forced & rushed. Maybe I don't care much for philosophical debate in films?
Favourite moment: th story about th scarred-face girl in Nagasaki, truly th heart of th film.

Gold Diggers of 1935 (Busby Berkeley, 1935) - 3.0
After blazing through all th Berkeley films th uni library has, I come to its sad end. Not particularly engaging, with not-so-memorable numbers (save one amazing exception.) It just lacked th Busby SPARK, or pizazz, or whatever. I can't really remember much about th story itself, over a week later; th usual rich/struggling actors dichotomy of BB films, but this time not quite as balls-out. I was glad that Ruby Keeler (BLARGH) was absent, but even so, it was no GD'33, which actually has something to say & does it in a super-fun manner. Maybe BB was too bogged down by th burden of being sole director to be his usually fantastical self. I still want to see his other films after this, though I'll probably lower my expectations.
Favourite moment: "Lullaby of Broadway", which really was th reason I still enjoyed th film overall. Really excellent, especially because Ruby Keeler wasn't there to ruin it!

(there are so many good images from this film, I'll post my stills sometime...)
The Fourth Man (Paul Verhoeven, 1983) - 3.0
Rec'd by cut_dead, I wanted to like it more than I did. Kind of...Cronenberg-lite or Zulawski-lite? That's what I kept thinking of as I was watching it, that I wanted to rewatch Dead Ringers or Szamanka. An alcoholic writer meets a sexy/creepy widow & things go wrong. Not as fun as Robocop or Showgirls, though th subtle humour is pretty pitch-perfect for th dark tone. Th paranoid revelation about Christine kind of comes out of left field, & parts felt flippantly misogynistic in a way that I couldn't really reconcile myself to this time round.
Favourite moment: th dream sequence w/ th flowers & th giant skeleton key, or maybe how Gerard freaks out after th car crash. Also, gay blowjob in a crypt is pretty awesome.

(I made 65 gifs! & have tons of stills to post!)
Awaara (Raj Kapoor, 1951) - rewatch, 5.0
My favourite Bollywood film OAT. I remember when I watched this for th first time in class years ago how I was th sole lover of Raj Kapoor afterwards. He has this great intelligent slapstick humour which is reminiscent of Chaplin but not cloyingly so. Is this th sole Bollywood courtroom drama? I don't know! It's impossible to boil down th story's twists into a short spoiler-free synopsis, but basically Raj is a two-bit conman who is th disowned son of a respected judge; lots of crazy things happen, he falls in love w/ his old classmate Nargis (who is a young lawyer, who also happens to be th charge of his horrible dad), & etc. With songs & dancing. Nargis is dazzlingly beautiful here, & th chemistry is really red-hot (RJ & she were together for years & years, until Nargis totally married Sunil Dutt who played her SON in Mother India! DRAMA!) There really isn't much I don't like about this film, though I know it isn't to everyone's taste. Such amazing set-pieces, especially th heaven & hell dream sequence! So amazing. Prithviraj Kapoor (Raj's real-life pop & estranged father here) resembles an Indian Jeremy Irons at times.
Favourite moment: Giving birth LITERALLY IN TH GUTTER AS RAIN POURS DOWN!!! Such a crazy melodramatic moment, but so heartfelt & beautifully shot, lots of chiaroscuro & such.

Etoile (Peter Del Monte, 1988) - 2.0
Watched on youtube. I heard about this as being a kind of unwitting predecessor to Black Swan, but w/ Jennifer Connelly. It was actually quite boring & style-less. V. little ballet is actually danced, th characters are kind of just there, w/ no real personality or intrigue. Jennifer Connelly is beautiful, kind of a carry-over from Phenomena of a a couple years previously, w/ th ethereal floaty prettiness. Not unwatchable, but ultimately a waste.
Favourite moment: Not really a moment, but I loved th super-80s aesthetic, th kind of bleeding colours thanks to th youtube vhs-quality rip (complete w/ Japanese subtitles, since it's only been released in Japan!)

(I capped th shit outta this, so expect gifs & stills one day soon!)
Bobby (Raj Kapoor, 1973) - rewatch, 4.0
Technically not a full rewatch, as we never finished th final act in class years ago, so th ending was new to me! Really super-fun, absurdly 70s Bollywood film w/ a psuedo-Romeo&Juliet plot basis, but it is SO. MUCH. MORE! Raja (played by Raj Kapoor's weird-looking, doughy son, Rishi) is an unloved rich boy who falls madly in love w/ Bobby (Dimple, who is SO FUCKING ADORABLE IN THIS IT MAKES ME CRAZY) th daughter of a poor fisherman. Tons of OTT amazingness, including: a daydream love song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBJj-3sgcd0 w/ super-retro costumes; an arranged marriage to a mentally-handicapped girl (!!!); a swingin' party that turns into a crazed fight; running away & almost drowning, & an absurdly happy ending that kind of sneaks out of nowhere.
Favourite moment: so many amazing bits, but I love this song th most: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmwWGrDoZhM (th lyrics of Dimple's part go something like, "If you lie, may you be pecked by crows, I'll run to my mother!")

Blonde Crazy (Roy Del Ruth, 1931) - 4.5
A pre-code highmark, for sure; up w/ Night Nurse, Baby Face, & Three on a Match as favourite pre-codes. Joan Blondell & James Cagney are a couple of grifters trying to score big, though things obvs. GO WRONG. Like th best pre-codes, it's deliciously amoral while still operating according to its own logic. Joan & Jimmy are perfect together, w/ a playful chemistry & comedic timing. Th way Jimmy repeatedly says "honey", sing-songing it to "huuuuh-neee" induces my echolalia, & I kept saying it to myself for days after watching it. Lots of great moments that all come together for th overall story, a breezy masterpiece of its kind.
Favourite moment: Joan slapping th shit out of Jimmy multiple times, or maybe when she & th dumb blonde maid have a five-second catfight & she knocks her ass DOWN! Love Joan so so much.

(also capped/making gifs of this like crazy, so good!)
Red Desert (Michelangelo Antonioni, 1964) - 4.5
I've never really been able to stomach th Antonioni I've seen previously, but that was years ago, so maybe it's about time for a revisit. I loved this film. Actually, to get a bit too personal, this film made me uncomfortable w/ how close it hit home. Monica Vitti is a disturbed/depressed housewife whose life is unravelling, set against this intense industrial ugliness that is too perfect for words. Every shot is composed brilliantly, & th tension between th setting & th characters is palpable. Really perfect, especially th shallow-focus/blurriness of th aesthetic. Kind of mad at myself for not seeing it sooner.
Favourite moment: Th creepy as fuck pseudo-sexual group lying-in-bed-together bit in th shack, how v. Italian.

The Holy Girl (Lucrecia Martel, 2004) - 3.5
Another I wanted to love more than I ultimately could. I admire Lucrecia Martel tons as a director, but I found Th Headless Woman to be a stronger film overall, at least according to my obsessions. Th catholicism here is a bit too alien for me (religion in films has always been a kind of meh thing for me), & I couldn't really feel any empathy w/ any of th characters. I really want to see La Cienaga though. Weirdly I found lots of little bits I liked lots, but overall it didn't come together strongly, though th denouement is pretty intense.
Favourite moment: Th theremin player outside th hotel, th second time Dr. Jano rubs his crotch on Amalia & she tries to grab his hand, when Amalia & Josephina tongue-kiss.

Tale of Tales (Yuriy Norshteyn, 1979) - rewatch, 5.0
My favourite animated film OAT. I randomly got th desire to rewatch, thankfully it's on youtube in full w/ subtitles. A deftly woven memory-film, a mood piece, reminiscent of Chris Marker at his best. Guh, this film really just leaves me speechless, & incapable of discussing it intelligently. It's subconscious brought to light, beautifully. Th techniques used are staggering, alone. Guh, just see it if you haven't!
Favouite moment: Th weirdly sepia dreamtime w/ th Minotaur skipping rope.

Black Moon (Louis Malle, 1975) - 3.5
I'd been super-curious about this film for ages, & finally got round to seeing it this week. Starts off strong--I can confidently say that th opening would be one of my top 20ish moments of film ever, but it slides into a fuddled mess after that, sadly. There's no real story, but a vaguely apocalyptic menace, an Alice-in-Wonderland-esque strangeness, & Joe Dallesandro (who remains mute mercifully.) I truly hated th breastfeeding sequences, one of th few things in th world that squick me out.
Favourite moment: obvs. th opening, but especially when Lily stops & sees th female soldiers executed then flees in terror.

I tried to include a tiny bit of what th films are 'about' this time. I'd like to actually start writing more seriously about film in these logs, but find it a bit of trouble and/or kind of silly. Maybe next time?
Vomit my guts out.

film log 7; 17 Jan - 31 Jan.

Bluh, I feel pretty shitty tonight, so I apologise if my commentary is unintelligible. I'm currently missing th Joann Sfar Gainsbourg biopic at Pitcher & Picture, oh well.

(image from m'boy http://nosex.tumblr.com)
Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives (Apichatpong Weerasethakul, 2010) - 4.0
Seen at Pitcher & Picture last Tuesday; I've previously seen two of Weerasethakul's other features, Mysterious Object at Noon back in high school, & Tropical Malady; I've always felt a bit torn toward his filmmaking, intrigued but generally my short attention span is tested to its limits (especially by th latter.) But w/ Uncle Boonmee, just about everything fell into place & Weerasethakul's meandering style enhanced th film instead of hindering it. I'm even more curious to see Blissfully Yours & Syndromes & a Century, though like his other films th reviews are kind of mixed. I know I haven't really written much about th film specifics, but I feel like I need to rewatch it soon to gel my thoughts a bit. Otherwise haunting & near-perfect.
Favourite moment: Ghost monkey is of course amazing, but I was fascinated by th catfish scene...Oh, & th cave, & th denouement, so great.

A Letter to Uncle Boonmee (Apichatpong Weerasethakul, 2009) - (short) - 3.0
This was fine; kind of an accompanying 'gallery-style' film, I didn't really understand it until I did some research aftewards regarding th political details underlying it all. I liked th cyclical camerawork.
Favourite moment: kind of hard, I guess th smoke coming off those weird pods.

My Winnipeg (Guy Maddin, 2007) - rewatch - 5.0
Definitely a strong contender for top-favourite Maddin, alongside Brand Upon th Brain, Careful & Archangel. I showed this to Michael & a friend of ours last week, they both seemed to love it. Obvs. Guy's most personal film, which is really what I'm all about in his work. I know a lot of people are down on Maddin & label him a bit hackneyed/schtick-ish, but I've always adored his magpie tendencies. Easily favourite living director, etcetc. I could blather on for a million years about how much I love him & this film. I won't, because I feel terrible, but I can. Also, I really need to suck it up & purchase a copy (& also th book!!) so I can screencap it, there are next to no good ones on GIS (no stills of th "dance of hairless boners" intertitle, for shame!")
Favourite moment: too many to name, though th standout image will always be th frozen horses.

Howl's Moving Castle (Hayao Miyazaki, 2004) - 4.0
I don't know what kept me from watching this sooner. I read th book when I was a child, & didn't really remember too many details, so it surprised me a bit. Th steampunk flavour works here, plus th castle's architectural design is super-reminiscent of th work of Jacek Yerka, whom I love. Th CGI bits (mostly used for tracking shots of th town to give an illusion of depth of space) were jarring & not to my Ghibli cel-animation sensibilities, as those in Princess Mononoke were before it. (Sidenote: so glad Ponyo was fully cel, I loved th naive-style underwater bits toooo much!) Otherwise really quite lovely, & I wish I had naturally silver-gray hair. Also, anticipating Th Borrowers so badly.
Favourite moment: th little dog sticks out in my brain, too cute.

(my image, I just haven't gotten round to uploading them all properly!)
School of th Holy Beast (Noribumi Suzuki, 1974) - 3.5
Deliriously blasphemous! Th kind of flimsy, trite excuse for a plot doesn't matter, & only bogs down th iconic nunsploitation imagery. Really highly recommended, who doesn't like lesbian nuns & flagellation & other super-OTT things? There is even a cat! Cinematically-speaking, th camera setups are inventive, & Suzuki's use blocking & depth of field create lovely composition in a (sometimes too) artistic way. I capped this & plan to make tons of gifs as soon as I finish my Repulsion ones, lots of rose-whipping action!
Favourite moment: A tie between th rose-whipping & th impaled nun!

Paris, Texas (Wim Wenders, 1984) - 4.5
Wow. Despite being overly long (I watched it on Netflix Instant, so I kept feeling super-antsy during th more meandering bits), near-flawless though soul-crushing (but still somehow upliftingly soul-crushing.) I'm v. picky about children in films (see my love of Ana Torrent), & Hunter fits my bill well; th relationship between him & Travis (Harry Dean Stanton) is touching but not an iota of schmaltz is involved. Nastassja Kinski at her most magnetically beautiful (holy hell that fuzzy magenta sweater!), though her approximation of a Texan drawl is dodgy at best. Lots of beautiful layers in this film, really far more than I am able to marvel at currently.
Favourite moment: Hunter & HDS walk home from school together, across th street from one another.

Black Dynamite (Scott Sanders, 2009) - 2.5, maybe 3.0
Watched w/ friends. In high school, I went through a blaxploitation fix (Putney Swope will always be my favourite), so I really wanted to like this a bit more than I was able. Hilariously funny in spurts, but not continuously. A decent homage/parody, at least it gets th tone right most of th time. Not sure if it will be better or worse on rewatching. Tickled by Cedric Yarbrough's cameo as Chocolate Giddy-Up.
Favourite moment: th music is pitch-perfect awesome, some surprising & guffaw-inducing jokes ("I threw that shit before I entered th room!")

Panic in th Streets (Elia Kazan, 1950) - 2.5, maybe 3.0
I'm not a bit Kazan person, I'll be th first to admit, but felt compelled to see Jack Palance's film debut (as well as anything w/ Richard Widmark!) Kind of off-kilter, not-really-noir, but a nice use of location-shooting & super-awesome performances from th aforementioned Palance & Widmark. Have I ever waxed on about how much I love Richard Widmark before? Here, he is far from his seedy usual role, but he still plays his part w/ cajones. Some off-colour casual Asian racism really made my eyes roll.
Favourite moment: Widmark Widmark Widmark (& Jack.)

Erotikon (Gustav Machatý, 1929) - 4.0
Watched on youtube. Really lovely Czech silent melodrama. Trying to expand my early cinema knowledge outside th usually channels, & this was a pleasant venture. Th opening sequence is brilliant, cinematically beautiful & on par w/ some of th best imagery in Murnau's Sunrise (barking dog, rain & fog, & o that love scene!!) Th narrative stagnates a bit toward th final third of th film, & th ending is a bit cliche. Otherwise beautiful, & it reminds me a bit of one of my favourite films OAT, Menilmontant. Lots of impressionistic touches. Also, th lothario resembles Al Columbia a tiny bit.
Favourite moment: love scene, hands-down; camera momement & close-ups, I hate to say it but "ahead of its time."

(I had to cap this from youtube, there are literally no stills of decent size anywhere)
Duvidha (Mani Kaul, 1973) - 3.0
Watched on youtube, which might be one of th few ways to see it; I actually really love th aesthetic as it looks like it's an old vhs-rip. Anyway. Beautiful, haunting imagery. Reminiscent of Souleymane Cisse's Yeelen, in that it's gorgeous & v. cinematic but nearly incomprehensible from a Western viewpoint. Maybe I'm just dumb, but it tried my patience, though it was beautiful to look at while it did so. I'm hardcore into glacial beauty & such, but I guess I'm a plebe that prefers Bollywood to Indian art cinema. (Thanks to oh__tsarevich I will be having a Bollywood marathon of rewatching & capping & gifmaking this week! Om Shanti Om, Teesri Manzil, Awaara, Bobby, Gumnaam & Caravan are on th projected bill!)
Favourite moment: th saturated yet faded colours, use of music.

Celia (Ann Turner, 1989) - 3.0
Watched on youtube. Disappointing, though that may be mostly my fault for building up my expectations. V. uneven in tone, it never really strikes a proper balance as a film about childhood, veering between 'children's film' & 'decidedly-not-a-film-for-children', so it doesn't succeed as either. Somewhat similar to Reflecting Skin or Paperhouse, but not quite as good as th latter & about on par w/ th former (to me, see my earlier rewatched-review of how disappointing Reflecting Skin was five years after initial love.) Rebecca Smart does a competent turn as Celia (I really do like when child actors are good), whose life just doesn't seem fair, & she looks unsettlingly like Patty McCormack in Th Bad Seed. Not as atmospheric as I was hoping, but still morbidly enjoyable if you like creepy-ish coming of age stories.
Favourite moment: Poor rabbit, also th shooting of th police captain & its aftermath, quite intense.

Morgiana (Juraj Herz, 1972) - 5.0
Watched on youtube, finally! I've been searching for this for ages (really wish I could use my KG account, need real internet!) Exactly as I'd hoped it to be, easily top 100. It ticks just about every box of mine: cat, duality, supernaturalism, etc. Th Edwardian costumes & makeup design are perfect, th settings are perfect, th score is perfect, everything. It hurts I love it so much, really. Iva Janzurová is v. convincing as both sisters, her interactions w/ herself were up there w/ Jeremy Irons in Dead Ringers (which I desperately need to rewatch!)
Favourite moment: when Viktoria goes down to th waves, it's like something directly out of my head.

Funeral Parade of Roses (Toshio Matsumoto, 1969) - rewatch - 4.5
Watched on youtube, after not seeing it for many years. Holds up even better than remembered, especially after my Japanese New Wave mania & increased knowledge (I think initially I just loved th OTT-ness & th bloody denouement.) Really, I can't say what hasn't already been said, it's a classic for a reason. Plus, I am now super-tired after writing all this.
Favourite moment: th documentary moments where people are interviewed, hands down.